Hard Times, Marriage & God
By Toni Smothers

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Well, I’m not sure how you feel about the above verse, but I have to admit that it strikes me as just a bit tough for the average person to embrace the concept of perseverance through many trials as a “good” thing - Especially the young, newly-wed average person. Trials and marriage do go together, but when they mold together into a seemingly indivisible bond right at the threshold, boy does the fuzzy-lovey-dovey stuff take a beating.

When perseverance jumps right up to be counted, many of us fragile Christians can fall away in droves. It seems pretty natural to feel resentful when the poop falls directly into your own lap. In harsh times we usually fight, take flight or blame - And its so easy to blame God just as soon as things get less than blissful on the home front. After all, things should go smoothly because we’re good Christian people, right? (Does anyone actually believe that?)

My 24-year-old son recently graduated from college, then continued to complete his masters, married his 23-year-old childhood sweetheart, started his career with a wonderful opportunity at Microsoft and moved out of state to begin his new job and marriage. Sure seemed to be strolling down easy street - Are you waiting to hear the blissfully romantic music playing softly in the background? Well, forget that - No sooner had they settled into their perfect little, third floor, one-bedroom apartment, than my son, Wade, began to have vague fatigue problems.

Wade is very expert at pool and enters tournaments often as his hobby. He paid for most of his college expenses with those tournament winnings so he has always exhibited good competitive ability. Suddenly, he’s finding it too difficult to stand up so long as is necessary if you tend to win. This is definitely peculiar for a 24 year old, lean and adroit young man.

Additionally, Wade began having difficulty mounting those three levels of stairs. (You guessed it, no elevator at his apartment complex.) Still, three flights of stairs is hardly a challenge for most people far older and less fit than he.

Then came some abnormal vision problems. This is all happening within the first few months of his new marriage and job. He is eventually compelled to see the first doctor, who ordered a bunch of tests, then sent him to the next doctor, who also ran the gamut of diagnostic procedures, until Wade was finally referred to the neurologist.

Wade has Multiple Sclerosis. The experts do not know what causes it and there is no known cure. Certain types of MS have been treated quite successfully in the past decade and a great deal has been discovered about medications that can cause remissions and keep the severer symptoms of the disease at bay almost indefinitely. However, that is only true of three of the four types of MS.

Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, the kind Wade has, is in a category all its own. There is no current remedy available. They are experimenting with certain mega-steroid medications and chemotherapies, but nothing has caused a remission in that particular type of MS as yet and the side effects of some of the experimental drugs are almost as devastating by themselves as the disease!

God specializes in pain and He can use it in unforeseen ways. If both partners in a marriage are willing to face a painful reality in their lives together, it can foster an even stronger bond of intimacy and commitment as time passes. God may not choose to heal Wade. But He can use the MS to work miracles in their lives and perhaps in the lives of others not yet even known to them.

I have to tell you that I hate this MS with a passion but I am so grateful that my son and his gentle bride, Jenna, know that God is with them. They are angry, don’t misunderstand, and they have sworn and cried and shaken their fists more than once in God’s direction. But our heavenly Father understands. He feels their disillusionment, their anguish and despair.

They became transparent in their pain – Brutally honest with each other, discussing what would happen as the MS progresses and how they would cope as it worsened. And you know what is the neatest thing about all this? God sticks with us even in the pits. He finds a way, unique to each of his children, to penetrate into each one’s heart of hearts and sweetly whisper, “I’m here for you. I will never leave you. I will help you get through even this… because there is no one in the world I love more than you.”

Undoubtedly, their tears will flow and dry repeatedly, but they have a strong foothold on how to deal with life’s worst. It’s as simple and as awesome as faith. And because of that magnificent, compelling belief, their marriage vows will stand. They truly do believe that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. That’s not some overrated cliché – that’s the Word of God and Wade and Jenna’s lifeline - The piercing light at the end of the tunnel, wherein lies the greatest power of all… Hope eternal. 

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW 




Toni was chosen to give the message at the closing of the Layspeaking school on the last day when certificates were handed out.....this is the message.

Good Morning.

I’d like to read from the 116th Psalm, verses 12-14

What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?
I will take up the cup of my salvation and call upon the name of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord. Now in the presence of all His people.

Let’s pray:

Thank you Father for your Word and for your love. Bless us this morning as we seek wisdom from your word and power from Your Holy Spirit.  In Jesus name, we pray.

Amen

 David was right when he said that our experience of the past two weekends was rewarding. Actually, that’s an understatement. The people involved with the Lay Speaker’s program are a group of dedicated, truly spiritual people who put together a wonderful program for us.

When some of you asked me, “How was school”, all I could say was, “Well, I thought it was very interesting… but possibly out of my league.” That too…was a gross understatement. But, nevertheless, I went and put on what I call my “Paper Lion Suit” and pretended at least partial nonchalance. That’s my survival tactic when I’m really scared witless. So…now you can probably better understand why I titled my talk: 

Who Do I Think I Am?

Although I enjoyed the experience of being at Lay Leaders school, after the fact, I really was a somewhat reluctant participant.  If you can picture the old vaudeville image of the truly rotten performer who is yanked off the stage by this huge hook around his neck, that’s a good visualization of how God got me there that morning!

The basic group consisted of a bunch of people and so we were divided up…And, of course, David and I were each put into different classes.

We were first directed to introduce ourselves and tell a little bit about jobs and families, which I guess was okay…you know, somewhat uncomfortable for us introvert types, but a pretty normal request in a new group and all… But then… as an  “ice breaker”, and I almost couldn’t believe this, our teacher told us to give a five to ten minute impromptu presentation about our the two most important people in our lives that had been the most influential to us through our spiritual growth. Nothing like jumping in with both feet!

 In the face of everyone’s testimonies, right off the bat, I was glaringly different from everybody else in my class…. They each had all these lovely recollections of generations of loved family members who had provided them with these wonderfully strong, nurturing backgrounds. We won’t go into my background, but believe me it wasn’t anything like there’s. So, from almost the first hour of class, I felt myself to be somewhat lacking…Somehow less qualified to position myself for leadership than the others because I never had any nurturing type experiences as a point of reference or source of confidence as they had.

            But like the psalm I read to you, I still felt gratitude towards God that I needed to express. When I asked what I could do to show my appreciation to God, I had ended up there in that class, so in some way, I did belong there.
                    

So…Though I might have come from a very different childhood and environment than my classmates, it wasn’t really about that… or even about who was less or more qualified. For me, it was just about loving the Lord for what He has done for me and needing to share Him with others.
 

I once had an angry, bitter heart. God healed me of that dark outlook on life and that was a tremendous blessing. But that’s another long story and not what I’m here to talk about today. I’ll just say that God’s ability to heal anything …matters. ...It matters a lot.

I learned about forgiveness when it was next to impossible to be forgiving. Because, you see, that lesson was for my benefit.  My forgiveness wasn’t really for those who I eventually forgave. That’s the part of it that is so important  -. That God literally changes us from what we were into what He wants us to become and it’s always better.

We are actually transformed by the word of God and the love contained within it…And unless we are willing to proclaim that fact, we are being selfish children.

A lot of what Paul wrote to his friends from his confinement in a Roman jail became quite literally, food for my thought. I’m sure you all know the verses I’m referring too, where Paul more or less says,

            Brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one thing more: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.  Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others.  Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

Those words… those words inspired by the Holy Spirit did literally change my way of thinking. And so dismal, angry thoughts were eventually replaced with happy, life-giving ones. Christian thoughts… delivered from resentment and shame. All I had to do was accept His healing and simply choose to fill my mind with His goodness through the power of His word.

So great…But that has to mean more than just sitting around all day having nice thoughts.  There has to be some effect…some action…that my Christian thinking and living has on the world around me. The beauty that has been disclosed to me is not meant to be held as my own personal secret.

In Matt 5:13-16 Jesus said,

You are the world’s seasoning, to make it tolerable. If you lose your flavor, what will happen to the world? And you yourselves will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

You are the world’s light – a city on a hill, glowing in the night for all to see.  Don’t hide your light! Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see… so that they will praise your heavenly Father.

I can’t let my uplifting thoughts go unrealized, which they will if I’m not taking some action to share them and give them life. So then I must do something, take some action. 

Serving God with singleness of purpose and putting the concerns of His kingdom first are actions that follow His will and free me from anxiety over any lesser things.

Jesus tells us not to accumulate treasures on earth and not to even worry about our lives at all.  He illustrates His point by comparing what He gives us to God’s provisions for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. We may not know them word for word, but we all know those verses:

Basically, He tells us not to sweat the small stuff but to use our energies more wisely. To seek God and His ways and everything else will take care of itself.  But, we so often overlook this instruction.

We are progressive people, becoming more and more educated, more and more capable - We acquire more and more prestigious things, all the while puffing our chests out further and further. Either that - or we’re worried sick because we’re not as accomplished as so and so, or we haven’t acquired the new car or overpriced house on the lake.

Whether we are situated on the outside or the inside of that treadmill, the resultant anxiety is the same. Worry has become natural to a lot of us - As natural as eating or sleeping. Why I know a lot of people and I’ll bet you do too, who couldn’t possibly get through a day if they didn’t have something to worry about. It’s almost as if worrying was a part of their nature.

Does this tendency to worry have anything to do with what Jesus means in the seventh chapter of Matthew were He talks about entering heaven through the narrow gate? He says that the highway to hell is broad and its gate is wide enough for all the multitudes who choose its easy way. But the gateway to Life is small, and the road is narrow and only a few ever find it. Do you suppose we will find it by worrying?.

We are literally required as children of God to abandon concern for anything other then our spiritual growth and the commission given to us of telling the world about Him.  God is God. He knows what we need and only He controls tomorrow. So are we going to actually obey God…or just think about our striving to be obedient? That was the decision I had to make - You know, actually “Walk the talk.”

It’s a bit unnerving to consider what Jesus says in Matt 7:21.

Not everyone who says to me Lord ,Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.

For most of us, it’s easy to designate things like lying or deliberate cruelty, or murder, as sins…Those are pretty clear-cut and we can simply decide not to commit them. But worrying is also sinful. Jesus says it is. And that’s just not something most of us think of when we think of being sinful.

For example;

All I could do, from the time we were given the assignment to get up in front of everyone and give a ten minute sermonette, until… well, from that Saturday till the following Tuesday afternoon, was to consider all the possible subjects I could speak about and then worry my heart out about my inability to do it.

My thinking went something like this:

How in the world did I get myself into such a predicament?

Whatever possessed me to think myself capable of preaching to anybody else?

I have no credentials or special talents in relation to public speaking – What was I thinking?

Who in the world do I think I am?….And on and on like that till I had a knot the size of a melon gripping my stomach. It wasn’t until I forced myself to stop and look at how worried and fearful I had become that I was able to actually start to work on this assignment.  But before I could do it, I first had to hand it over to God - Truly leave it with Him.

You see, all the worrying in the world wasn’t going to make me the least bit more capable.  Only God’s grace could do that.  Only when I turned the outcome over to Him could I envision myself speaking clearly and comfortably without having a heart attack from the stress.

Again, my answer came from His Word: (Phil4:13)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So when the temptation to second guess my situation – to beat myself up with thoughts of inadequacy comes, I have to see that for what it really is.  Its just another way that Satan has of creeping into my thoughts and stealing my confidence and perverting my good intentions until I think myself foolishly presumptuous.

Who do I think I am to stand up and preach the Word of God? Well… I’m predestined to adoption as a child of God, purchased and redeemed by the blood of Jesus and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise who guarantees my inheritance into heaven.  That’s who I am and there is no room for false pride or insecurity in the power of that!

All I have to do is ask the Father to give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.  Because then the eyes of my understanding are enlightened and I recognize the nature of His calling in me which is far above any puny negative power.

 So I can answer the question of whether I should presume to be here with faith. (Eph 2:8) For by grace I have been saved through faith, and that not of myself, but it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest I should boast. For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.


So, I put on the armor of God… that I may be able to stand and open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the Gospel. I am not ashamed of the testimony of our Lord. Jesus said that the harvest is plentiful but the laborers few. So, like others of us here, I have heard the Holy Spirit call me and I have chosen to be among the few.

And I believe that we are called with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began. (2 Tim1:9)

I’d like to close with one final Bible quote from Matt 12:31

Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.

When the Holy Spirit calls, we can only obey.

Praise God and may He so richly bless each of you.





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Toni Smothers: How Full Is Your Cup?

Trials abound in the ministry and sometimes we feel pressed on every side by troubles. But, we are not crushed and broken by disappointments and even though we may become perplexed, we don’t give up or let out faith waver because we know in our heart of hearts that God never abandons us.

Although sometimes we may forget it, we are never really at the end of our rope. No matter what dreadful thing may occur around or to us, we always have hope. Because Christ has won the victory over death, we have eternal life as our inheritance. As children of God, we have the assurance that even death submits to the power and glory of God. I praise him for that incredible promise.

I envision even the smallest corner in the darkest closet in Heaven as a glorious place compared to anything that has ever or will ever exist here in our lifetimes.

But, while lavishing in imaginings of the grandeur and blessings of Heaven may be kind of neat, we must never let the future detract us from the present. The Bible teaches us that through suffering we share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in us. But, is it? Is the life of Jesus truly showing in each of us? That’s really what I want to address today.

I don’t believe we were saved to spend the rest of our lives yearning for eternity. Yet you can find many who will say that they have to endure this life until God calls them home. Their self-imposed endurance test keeps them diligently doing rather than gratefully experiencing. So is your cup half full or half empty today? The optimists’ cup is half full and the pessimists’ is half empty – What about yours?

Do you spend most of your time doing for others so you can show God how faithful and self-sacrificing you are? A lot of Christians do, you know. But by doing that, they are probably missing many of the blessings God has for them.

Realize this...God is the only one who understands what true faithfulness is and He is the only one who has made the ultimate sacrifice of his son’s life for us. Even our noblest efforts are as filthy rags compared to what he has already done. He doesn’t want that kind of futile effort from us. He just wants to love us and be the center of our lives. Fellowship with God does not have to be a far off goal to become real only after death. His spirit is very real and immediate.

Sometimes we get so busy doing for God that we forget that. We go around spinning our wheels and leave little or no time for just waiting and listening for Him. His still, small voice is always with us, guiding, comforting and sustaining. God is present, now, today, as we live and breathe. As I write His message, He helps me choose the exact words that will communicate with your hearts, as well as your minds.

We need only accept that it is actually possible and true that He is here with us today – Just as He always is. We need only let our hearts believe, without question or rational explanation, that our Father wants to be that involved in our lives! He is not simply to be summoned periodically throughout our days when we pause to acknowledge Him with our prayers or good deeds. He wants to be so much more intimate with each and every one of us then we can ever conceive of in our grandest imaginings.

How close is your heart, your own emotions? God is closer. How well do you know yourself? God knows you far better than that. How many hairs are on your head? Even you don’t know that. But your Heavenly Father knows that answer. This incredible reality is often too huge for us to fathom, but it is still true.

I think that we are meant to live in multiple realities. We are our children’s parents, our parents’ children, our friends’ friend, our students’ teacher, our husbands’ wives, and on and on. We are not easily defined. But above all that we know ourselves to be in this life, God knows us as His children and that means so much more than all the rest.

It means that no matter how much adversity or evil we come against in our lives, we can always have the comfort and the council of our Father - And not only that! We can also have His celebration and companionship in our times of joy! He is always, and I underline always, with us! So all of our accomplishments, our risks, humiliations and trials, are really just opportunities for God to demonstrate His power, presence and love in and through us. We must not let anything steal that truth from us because we are meant to live joyfully in that knowledge!

We all have faced problems in our relationships or in our work or our homes that have seemed overwhelming at times. But that’s only because we temporarily forgot who faces those problems right there and then with us.

It’s true that God didn’t promise us an easy life, but he did promise to send us the Holy Spirit. Once we acknowledge Him, invite Him to take up residence within us; we live in two distinct realities for the rest of our lives. We live among the lost and hurting world in a state of blessedness that can only be experienced. It can't be explained or adequately verbalized. But I can tell you this much... that state of blessed communion with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, can turn the hardest that life delves out, into wonderful opportunities to show the world God’s Glory in us.

If we accept that we are sinners in need of forgiveness and that we are predestined to adoption as children of God, purchased and redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise who guarantees our inheritance into heaven, we are truly then saved. Those are the facts in a nutshell, so to speak. No more is necessary to obtain that eternal life in Heaven after death. And, unfortunately, many of God’s children remain satisfied with that.

But, that’s just part of the good news because if we allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us and direct our lives here and now, we can also understand and therefore claim the joy of our salvation. There’s such a tremendous difference between the two ways of being God’s child. I can’t emphasize enough how vastly different the presence of the Holy Spirit as a daily reality can make in our lives now.

Other than Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, I can’t imagine a more precious or perfect gift. The power and indwelling delight of the Holy Spirit’s presence must not be trampled by our nonsensical busyness. God blesses us according to our willingness to receive and share, and not for any other reason. That power and tremendous joy remains ever ready for all who will receive it. So my prayer for each of you today, is that you will also claim the joy of your salvation.
You know, as spirit-filled children of God, we leave the optimists of this world in the dust because our cup is not only half full; it is full and overflowing with the love of our Heavenly Father.

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